November 13th, 2023
Have you felt a sense of loneliness recently? You are not alone. According to the advisory from the Surgeon General, “about half of US adults reported feeling lonely in recent years”. Feeling lonely or isolated can come from the sense that you’re not connecting with another person or a community.
I know that I have felt feelings of loneliness. It’s not that I don’t have close friends. I do. I have really good friends. But I still feel at times a sense of loneliness that I can’t seem to shake. We have moved twice in as many years. We are in a new city, developing new friendships, and trying to establish new rhythms that give us a sense of normalcy but also help in developing some deep friendships. Developing new rhythms and new friendships can feel very isolating.
We both crave and fear intimacy. We crave intimacy because we are created for it. We were created to live before God and others with a sense of vulnerability in which we can truly know and be known.
I know that I have felt feelings of loneliness. It’s not that I don’t have close friends. I do. I have really good friends. But I still feel at times a sense of loneliness that I can’t seem to shake. We have moved twice in as many years. We are in a new city, developing new friendships, and trying to establish new rhythms that give us a sense of normalcy but also help in developing some deep friendships. Developing new rhythms and new friendships can feel very isolating.
We both crave and fear intimacy. We crave intimacy because we are created for it. We were created to live before God and others with a sense of vulnerability in which we can truly know and be known.
Regardless of what you believe about God and why we are on this planet, what you cannot deny is that we all share this desire. However, sometimes we can’t help feeling lonely.
We fear intimacy because we are afraid if people knew who we are that they would not like us, or even worse, outright reject us. At the root of this fear is shame.
We all have parts of our story that, if people knew it could cause this to step back from us. Often the difficult parts of our story make others uncomfortable with the parts of their story in which they feel shame. So we are caught in a cycle of shame that produces that feeling of loneliness.
We all have parts of our story that if people knew it could cause this to step back from us. Often the difficult parts of our story make others uncomfortable with the parts of their story in which they feel shame. So we are caught in a cycle of shame that produces that feeling of loneliness.
We all have parts of our story that, if people knew it could cause this to step back from us. Often the difficult parts of our story make others uncomfortable with the parts of their story in which they feel shame. So we are caught in a cycle of shame that produces that feeling of loneliness.
We all have parts of our story that if people knew it could cause this to step back from us. Often the difficult parts of our story make others uncomfortable with the parts of their story in which they feel shame. So we are caught in a cycle of shame that produces that feeling of loneliness.
Is There A Solution to Not Feeling Lonely?
Prevailing wisdom tells us that we must press into community to combat loneliness. But if that was so easy then loneliness would be eradicated. So there must be a deeper solution. The Apostle Paul writes in Romans 8:1, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
What Paul is saying here is a radical solution to the epidemic of loneliness that plagues all of us. Hear what he is saying. He is saying that for those who are found in Christ Jesus, there is no shame or condemnation. If that is true, then the parts of our story that we feel we must hide from others thus, leading us to feeling lonely, are somehow removed for those who find themselves in Christ.
What Paul is saying here is a radical solution to the epidemic of loneliness that plagues all of us. Hear what he is saying. He is saying that for those who are found in Christ Jesus, there is no shame or condemnation. If that is true, then the parts of our story that we feel we must hide from others thus, leading us to feeling lonely, are somehow removed for those who find themselves in Christ.
How does being in Christ remove the shame we feel deep inside?
We find the answer on the cross. There, Jesus was condemned for our sins so that we wouldn’t have to be. The part of our stories that we feel the most ashamed about and fear being condemned by others (or even God) has been completely forgiven for those who are in Christ.
At the foot of the cross, we can be free from shame and share the deepest parts of our stories with others because we know that we have been forgiven and eternally secure in our relationship with God. It’s powerfully freeing. It infuses in us a deep sense of belonging and community that cannot be found anywhere else. There is no place to feel lonely when the love of Christ surrounds us in a strong community.
If you have gone through a recent move, a job transition, or perhaps a divorce and you are struggling to develop new rhythms that give you a sense of normalcy and deep friendships, then I invite you to press into a community. But not just any ordinary community. A community that lives at the foot of the cross keenly aware that there is no condemnation for those who find themselves in Christ Jesus.
People who live at the foot of the cross are not only free from condemnation but also free not to condemn others. It frees them to truly know and be known. It is a community that lovingly reminds us that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
At the foot of the cross, we can be free from shame and share the deepest parts of our stories with others because we know that we have been forgiven and eternally secure in our relationship with God. It’s powerfully freeing. It infuses in us a deep sense of belonging and community that cannot be found anywhere else. There is no place to feel lonely when the love of Christ surrounds us in a strong community.
If you have gone through a recent move, a job transition, or perhaps a divorce and you are struggling to develop new rhythms that give you a sense of normalcy and deep friendships, then I invite you to press into a community. But not just any ordinary community. A community that lives at the foot of the cross keenly aware that there is no condemnation for those who find themselves in Christ Jesus.
People who live at the foot of the cross are not only free from condemnation but also free not to condemn others. It frees them to truly know and be known. It is a community that lovingly reminds us that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
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